I Did Something Really Stupid....

I did something really stupid the other day.

Hubby was at his uncle's to fix his roof and daughter was at a friend’s house. Son was on the computer when the front doorbell rang. I opened it. There was a man standing there with an SUV parked on the street.

“Hi!,” he said. “I help design and furnish Ryan Model Homes. I have a lot of extra pictures in my truck that I’m trying to get rid of and wondered if you’d be interested.”

(Wow!! I can’t believe it! Free pictures! How can I pass that up? There is a god and he loves me.)

“OK,” I said excitedly, “I’ll be right out!”

Walking down the driveway, I said, “You aren’t going to kidnap me; are you?” (Ha, ha!)

“No,” he said, “I don’t think my girlfriend would let me!” (Ha, ha!)

He opened the back of the SUV. In the back was a large row of pictures standing on their sides. I started flipping through them and pulling some out, although they were not exactly my taste. I thought that perhaps I could use them for presents later. Next he let me look in the back seat where I found a few more.

“I’ll pull the ones out you like and you can choose.”

His next words put a chill up and down my spine.

“The large ones are only $65 and the small ones are $45. You’re really only paying for the print.”

In the next few seconds, my mind worked in turbo mode. I don’t really like these, I thought. They are so totally not my style. But I must be a whacko to think they would be free. How embarrassing! Now what do I do? Should I let him know that I’m an idiot and walk away? Or should I just buy one or two and act like I knew it all the time?

“Hmmm,” I said flipping through my original choices. “I know my sister would just LOVE this one. It would be a great present!” (I already got her a present months ago, but, again, EMBARASSMENT.) I kept flipping through. “I know my husband would just LOVE this Monet! Hmmm… OK, I’ll take those two!”

I smiled warmly at him after my decisions were made. “We take cash, credit cards or checks”.

“Alright”, I said, “I’ll go get my checkbook”. For some reason, I felt safer with a check instead of giving him my credit card. There were a few brain cells left after all.

I went in the house and got my checkbook. The man told me that the total was $119.20. I wrote the check and handed it to him, smiling all the time.

“Do you need help bringing these inside?” he asked.

“Oh no,” I replied cheerfully, “I can do it!”

“OK,” he said, handing me a business card. “The pictures have a lifetime warranty.”

“That’s great. Thanks so much!”

“Thank YOU!” he said and got into the SUV.

I walked into the garage with my treasures and went in the house. I carefully leaned them against the wall and admired them. They were certainly lovely, but…

What the hell?!!!! I don’t like these! What was I thinking? I am SUCH and idiot!! Now what do I do? Calm down. No one else saw what a fool I was. I’ll just explain things to hubby when he gets home. He’ll understand. Maybe I can figure out how to take them back, or maybe I’ll keep them since they are lovely…WAIT A MINUTE!! I hate them. I have to stop rationalizing this. I guess the worst case scenario is that I give the one picture to sister for her birthday, knowing full well she won’t really want it, and I’ll put the Monet in the ….well, maybe I’ll just store it for now since I really HATE IT!!!

For the rest of the afternoon, I conveniently forgot about the whole thing. I set about picking up the house. I remember I made something for dinner, if you consider putting frozen prepared chicken patty product and potato product in the oven for 15 minutes. We all sat at the dinner table and ate the delicious dinner I had prepared so carefully. When the children were done, they asked to be excused and we let them. We were left alone with only the silence between us.

“Hubby?” I said cautiously, “I did something really stupid today.”

I know how people constantly overuse the term ‘deer in the headlight’ looks. I can’t really say that was the look he gave me. I think it was more of a ‘I hope what she did does not cause permanent damage to my brain’ kind of look. His eyes were wide, but I saw a hint of curiosity in them.

“What did you do?” he said staring intently into my eyes.

“Well, the doorbell rang this afternoon”. I then told him my tale of idiocy. When I came to the part about the costs of the small and large pictures, he stopped and said, “don’t tell me you bought all of them.”

“Oh no!” I laughed, “I only bought two!”

“Why did you do that?” he said, trying to understand my explanation, his face contorted in pain.

“I didn’t want him to think I was an idiot”, I said. “What kind of lunatic would think they were free?”

He carefully hid his answer by not moving a muscle in his face. There were a few moments of silence following. I could tell he was trying very hard not to say what he was really feeling, but I know that inside he was not happy.

“Do you know who this guy was?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said, “he gave me his business card.”

After a few more stressful moments, he said, “I’ll call him and get our money back.”

I remember repeating over and over, “I’m sorry! I’m such a loser!” Wisely, he didn’t reply.

Later that evening he told me he was going to call the number on the card. “I’m just going to say to him, ‘…I finally got her out of the asylum, and the moment I leave to get her meds, this happens.’”

Very funny.

Anyway as it turns out, he left a message, I stopped payment on the check, and he called hubby back. This man promised to come by in the evening to pick up the pictures and refund our money, since he had already cashed the check.

When it came to the time that he was supposed to arrive, I was conveniently upstairs on the computer. He and hubby had a civil conversation, with a few laughs. I never did ask what they were talking about, but I’m sure he had some pity for the man whose wife was only steps away from returning to the asylum.